Am I a Monsoon..?

What's really a monsoon? Well, it's more than just a strong storm. It's real meaning goes far beyond it.. The way nature itself sees a Monsoon is complicated to understand yet easy to explain. It's just, something deadly yet a vital need for nature and the world. A storm that might kill a lot of beings without the one they might die as well. A Monsoon brings joy with it, since a lot of dry areas of the world get water from it once a year. It's a rare phenomenon since not many people get to experience it.. But it's wonderful when it does happen. On the other hand, the storm is so strong it brings down everything as it goes. That's the reason it's been denominated DEADLY. 

How can something so powerful and deadly can be needed as a live or death requirement? As I said, it's very easy to explain yet hard to understand. And here's something even more complicated and ironic, since you can compare this situation to your own life some of the times. What if you bring joy to certain people around you but then.. When they get close enough, they realize how deadly you are and how much you're gonna hurt them? What are you supposed to do.. Take a risk or stay away? It's not really our own choice to make since there's other people involved. 

You don't really wanna hurt anyone but you're sadly, not a lifeless storm. So may your anger and frustration become the wind and it's strength that will tear down everyone's heart as your tears may become the raindrops that will sweetly fall and heal the broken souls around you. 

Being What I Am Bothers Me Sometimes..

What is that supposed to mean? Well, being different isn't always a choice. Sometimes it's something you have to live with.. And even if you can't fight it, sooner or later you'll get sick of it. You may wanna end your life as well, what can I say? I have thought about it several times but the truth is.. You'd only end up as a coward who couldn't make the best out of what you've been given to. But how can you make the best out of something that isolates you from the world? Knowing you can't be fully honest with anyone at all not because you don't want to but because you simply... Can't. 

When everything revolves around the darkness inside you, where are you supposed to find the light? You can't just steal it from someone else, that's just not how it works. Since yourself and the rest of the people around you are tow worlds apart.. you're left alone with an awful heartache for no apparent reason at all. Is it nothing but a mistake? How would I know... I can't do nothing but watch how it all falls apart in a matter of time, it's always the same. The one thing you can't bare to hear is another god bye yet... Sooner or later it'll happen again.. and again. 

It's not precisely what we want or deserve and I think that's the reason not all of us have to carry with such a deadly weight on our shoulders. Maybe you wish you speak out loud but when you try to scream at the top of your lungs you realize your sorrow is nothing but a silent scream.. How can you make such a nightmare disappear? How can yo set yourself free? That's the real question and the bottom line is, you can't unless you get rid of your own self which as I mentioned before.. Isn't the answer so it all turns out to be an endless cycle.