Am I a Monsoon..?

What's really a monsoon? Well, it's more than just a strong storm. It's real meaning goes far beyond it.. The way nature itself sees a Monsoon is complicated to understand yet easy to explain. It's just, something deadly yet a vital need for nature and the world. A storm that might kill a lot of beings without the one they might die as well. A Monsoon brings joy with it, since a lot of dry areas of the world get water from it once a year. It's a rare phenomenon since not many people get to experience it.. But it's wonderful when it does happen. On the other hand, the storm is so strong it brings down everything as it goes. That's the reason it's been denominated DEADLY. 

How can something so powerful and deadly can be needed as a live or death requirement? As I said, it's very easy to explain yet hard to understand. And here's something even more complicated and ironic, since you can compare this situation to your own life some of the times. What if you bring joy to certain people around you but then.. When they get close enough, they realize how deadly you are and how much you're gonna hurt them? What are you supposed to do.. Take a risk or stay away? It's not really our own choice to make since there's other people involved. 

You don't really wanna hurt anyone but you're sadly, not a lifeless storm. So may your anger and frustration become the wind and it's strength that will tear down everyone's heart as your tears may become the raindrops that will sweetly fall and heal the broken souls around you. 

Being What I Am Bothers Me Sometimes..

What is that supposed to mean? Well, being different isn't always a choice. Sometimes it's something you have to live with.. And even if you can't fight it, sooner or later you'll get sick of it. You may wanna end your life as well, what can I say? I have thought about it several times but the truth is.. You'd only end up as a coward who couldn't make the best out of what you've been given to. But how can you make the best out of something that isolates you from the world? Knowing you can't be fully honest with anyone at all not because you don't want to but because you simply... Can't. 

When everything revolves around the darkness inside you, where are you supposed to find the light? You can't just steal it from someone else, that's just not how it works. Since yourself and the rest of the people around you are tow worlds apart.. you're left alone with an awful heartache for no apparent reason at all. Is it nothing but a mistake? How would I know... I can't do nothing but watch how it all falls apart in a matter of time, it's always the same. The one thing you can't bare to hear is another god bye yet... Sooner or later it'll happen again.. and again. 

It's not precisely what we want or deserve and I think that's the reason not all of us have to carry with such a deadly weight on our shoulders. Maybe you wish you speak out loud but when you try to scream at the top of your lungs you realize your sorrow is nothing but a silent scream.. How can you make such a nightmare disappear? How can yo set yourself free? That's the real question and the bottom line is, you can't unless you get rid of your own self which as I mentioned before.. Isn't the answer so it all turns out to be an endless cycle. 

Being Lied To

What would you do is someone you loved was being lied to? 

The first thought that would go through your mind would be saying something right...? But have you thought about the consequences of what you think might be the best for everyone.. Not really, I'm guessing. That's where our scenario turns a little darker than it already was since you find yourself standing at a crossroad not knowing what to do. If you say something you may cause even more damage to the situation since you only know one side of the story but if you remain quiet you may also end hurting the one you thought you were protecting from the truth, the truth that sooner or later will reveal itself. 

You can't pretend to be hero, cause they're all dead by now. Still, if you wanna try and learn that for yourself you're free to do so... But one thing I can assure you, it will hurt and change your way of thinking to a more realistic almost negative perspective of life. Wouldn't it be easier to just step back and wait for tings to solve by themselves? I doesn't sound fare at all but honestly I see no other answer cause as I have said before, we're a sad reflection of what society is turning out to be like and it controls us in way... Some more than others yet we're all slaves. 

The So Called "Pleasing Others"

The So Called "Pleasing Others" 

What does that really mean? Does it mean we have to be nice to others every time or that we have to suck things up just to make others happy...? Honestly I see no difference. Whenever we don't feel like talking or doing something for someone else we usually suck things up [depending on who we're talking about of course] and do so, we might do it cause we think that's the right thing but there's something hidden behind our action and that is our hope to please that certain someone so things will be better for everyone else including ourselves. 

The truth is, all we're doing is lying to ourselves and the one's we're trying to "please" so hard. Even when we try and do what our parents want instead of speaking our mind, that's not only being respectful but we're also trying to please them to make our relationship easy.. It might be hard to accept but as humans that's just part of our nature, sadly. It might not bother everybody but it bothers me to see how conformist society can be now days, it sickens me to think we can't be better than that. Are we really that scared to end up alone in the world...? 

Behind A Smile

Behind A Smile

There's a story in everyone's eyes and a lot of lost feelings behind everyone's smile, but what really matters is not to hide hide the pain beneath it. Whatever you tell yourself each time it hurts, to convince your heart it will go away in a little while.. Isn't true. When you can't walk no further, you smile. Thinking a simple smile will take everything away and sometimes it does but even the smallest lie doesn't last forever. 

No matter how far away from the problem you may go, the source of it is inside you and the only way to make it stop is to stop "smiling" and let yourself feel for even once.. Thinking about it makes your mind feel like you're chasing a dark star in the infinite black sky yet not impossible to accomplish. When you get closer to that one star you will for sure realize it was never dark, just too dark too appreciate from afar. 

Someone extremely wise told me once "Happiness is the most powerful weapon" and that weapon will help you find the dark star you're looking for, once you do so.. It will set you free. 

My View

My View

 

Have you ever had those kind of dark dreams where you never get hurt but yet, you wake up confused and somehow disturbed by the kind of "nightmare" you just had..? No, you're not crazy.. It actually happens a lot but no one has the courage to talk about it.  My view? It's just a way for our spirit to express itself through our dreams... All our fears, insecurities, goals, etc.. Are trapped there and they all need a way to come out. The real question is, why don't they make sense to us? 

 

If they would, we wouldn't be afraid to talk about it, yes? I just wish people could be a little more understanding, if so.. Those dark dreams wouldn't be a secret to the world. My view; they're just like those scars we try to hide even though we know that's not gonna make them go away or make us forget about how we got them in the first place. Why can't be accept ourselves for who we are and be proud of it? That would make our life a thousand times easier, again.. That's just my view..